As most polite pot smokers know there’s a proper etiquette that should be followed in order to accommodate for a comfortable smoke circle. As such I thought it might be a proper use of time to sit down and spell out a couple of the fundamental basics, that most good stoners already understand. As joints can run, and blunts can burn in strange and unruly ways. There are certain rules that each member of your smoke circle needs to participate in, as a means of facilitating a fully functioning and uninterrupted flow.
As anyone that has ever participated in a smoke circle understands, once you figure bong, pipe or joint the proper rotation of the circle should be to the person on your left-hand side. As a means of avoiding any confusion within your smoke circle… it is always considered bad etiquette to change the direction of your smoke circle. That is to say – once you’ve started passing to the left-hand side, the first person to change direction – either because they’re to stoned to remember… or are just trying to mess with you, their done.
So as we head into the dog days of summer, our last few weekends of freedom, let’s take a quick review of the 10 Commandments of good pot smoking etiquette.
Commandment # one… Thou shall not Bogart that joint. Now that seems like a prettystraightforward Commandment. Hit the joint, pipe, bong, or blunt and pass it. Everyone in the circle is just as anxious to hit that elevated state of mind as you. So just remember your job in the circle is simple, puff, puff ,pass… That’s it, it’s not that complicated.
Commandment # two… As already mentioned earlier, you always pass the smoke to the left-hand side. It’s just that simple, not to hard to remember… Unless of course you’re to stoned to be in the circle the first place. Plus it shows good smoking etiquette.
Commandment # three… If you’re hanging on to the joint, pipe, bong or blunt longer than 30 seconds… you’re running the ugly risk of being called a Bogart. And no one likes a Bogart in their smoke circle, so do yourself and everyone around you a favor… hit that thing and pass it on down the line.
Commandment # four… Take one big puff, and pass it along. That’s not your joint — everyone in your smoke circle pitched in for its construction, so everyone needs to enjoy it. How many times have you been patiently waiting in your circle, only to see your buddy double-dip the joint, leaving a red hot cherry, tasting like crap for your hit. Hate it.
Commandment # five… When you’re bong is clogged, the joint is running, or the blunt iscoming unraveled. It’s your job as a good member of your community smoke circle to repair the issue. If you just tried to rip your hit, yet were unable to clear it. It’s your job to go back and make sure that you cleared the bowl and stem. This allows for an unobstructed, clear, clean hit by the next person queued up in the circle.
Commandment # six… So you bring your favorite piece to the smoke circle, only to have douche bag Don knock it over and break it. Just what is douche bag Don’s responsibility in this scenario? Well, it seems pretty clear to me – you break it, you bought it. Those are the rules the road and we adhere to them strictly around these parts.
Commandment # seven… When you show up in a smoking circle and you are missing the one main ingredient that makes it a “smoking” circle, i.e. buds. It is incumbent upon you — not to be a complete malcontent when someone whips out flower that is not of your liking. Yeah that’s right – you don’t get to show up and complain about someone’s Mexican dirt weed, while reminiscing “Man you should’ve seen the killer – KGB – Chron – dank, stinky weed we had yesterday dude.” That shit will get you kicked out of your smoking circle — quicker than having herpes.
Commandment # seven… He who rules the fat joint of chronic KGB – also gets to light it. Don’tbe confused if you didn’t bring any supplies to the party, you’re still welcome. You’ve just been moved down the totem pole a bit. You want that first sweet hit of terpene’s… Then I suggest you bring a little something, something next time the smoke circle.
Commandment # eight… If you would always like to be welcome within your own smoke circle of friends, it is important not to turn your nose up… or someone else’s smoke down. It tends to send the wrong signal, like “Hey buddy… Your weed is shit.” And I’m pretty sure no one wants to be snubbed while trying to help out a Bro.
Commandment # nine… If you just taken a fat rip off your bong, and you know that bowl is cached. Do your buddies a favor, empty that thing and refill it. It’s not hard it, doesn’t take long — and it just goes to show that your considerate smoke buddy. Again… No one wants to hang out with selfish, greedy Bogart.
Commandment # ten… Last but not least, it’s something we all know intuitively. Sure there’s thewake and bake, no one can really get around that. But there’s one other time in the day that every good stoner in the world knows to honor. When the little hands-on the 4 and the big hands-on 20… It’s time to take a step back from the mundane tasks of the day, and feed the mind. That’s right, it is considered completely uncouth to miss 4:20 for just about any reason other than hospitalization.
Those are the rules — I didn’t make him, I just follow them.